3-day Weekend Cruise Retreat
May 16 - 19, 2008
 

On this page:

Photos by Patti & Bob

Articles by Anne Goldberg, Meryl Joblin, Penny Cheever

Links to Cecile's poems
 

Many more photos by Bob (Bub) Heaton (including these eight)
 

Spiritual Approach to Relationships - Blissful Self Discovery 

As seen by Anne Goldberg

On June 16 we gathered together for TAO’s 2nd Spirit At Sea cruise, a spiritual renewal aptly titled “Blissful Self Discovery.”  It was no coincidence there were 18 of us (Chai)... as if to say Intimacy and Life are inextricably intertwined.

Our first night,

Rabbi Marc intertwined a sweet Shabbos service and an exercise to open us to an understanding of the nature of Spiritual Intimacy to help us become more intimate with ourselves and a partner.  Our relationships were varied: we were married and single, we were with and without partners, we knew each other for a lifetime, we knew each other only casually.  Our common thread was the desire to experience a whole weekend of learning from Rabbi Marc.  Once again, he did not disappoint.

On this Shabbos we learned how to massage our partner’s hands (who knew our Rabbi worked his way through school as a massage therapist!) while coaxing from them verbal lists of our talents and gifts.  The first list was of our perceived failings and shortcomings; the second was of our talents and gifts.  The massage lasted as long as the list.  It was a stunning lesson in how to communicate deeply in sacred intimacy with a partner.  I could almost hear hearts breaking open all over the room.  And this was just the beginning, a tantalizing first taste of the events to follow.

Saturday was hot and beautiful. 

We were shuttled by ferry to a sandy tropical cay in the Bahamas where the breezy shade of the palm trees offered the perfect setting for this adventure in trust and commitment.  Our Intimacy lessons continued as each partner alternated being blindfolded and being the guide to a chosen nearby destination.  Keith and I decided I would go first.  Courageously I donned the mask and was immediately plunged into total darkness.  I am afraid of the dark, but when Keith took my arm, I surrendered in absolute trust to his strong lead.  It was most intimate as he whispered to me what to expect with nearly each step I took.  And as his guide, I learned the value of total focus on the job at hand.  (Note to self: Stop multi-tasking!) 

After we all “walked the path,” we had fun sharing our experiences... especially when we heard that Fleur walked Bob (Bub) into a low-hanging branch!

Next Rabbi Marc displayed a mound of colored papers with quotes from our sages and told us to pick whichever one(s) we wanted.  Meryl Joblin randomly picked the same same quote FIVE times!  Even her husband Michael picked the same quote!  It was "God your Maker, Who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth," Isaiah 51-12 and 13.  It's about being connected to the earth.  For those of you who know Meryl, you know is absolute truth confirmed.  And truths were being confirmed throughout our circle.  This exercise helped us to open to the intimate relationship we each have with God. 

And in that moment of Divine connection, we decided to sing the Shma.  So there, with the cerulean blue ocean lapping at the sun-kissed sand and a cool breeze caressing our skin, we sang the Shma from our hearts to God.  Our prayer was a love song, a declaration of our intimacy with the Creator and ourselves. 

As elevating as that was, none of us could anticipate the experience we were about to have.
There are seminal events in one’s life.  As we walked through the sandy muck of the seaweedy ocean, we didn’t know we were about to experience transformation.  We formed a circle in the waist deep warm water and prepared to perform a mikvah – the ritual cleansing traditionally for women – on each other. One by one we were floated on our back with the hands of the rest of the group gently and firmly supporting us under the water. 

With Rabbi Marc leading, and our combined hands working as one, we began to bob our prone friend up and down up and down, up and down rhythmically chanting “Live, Live, Live, Live, Live, Live, Live, Live” until we were gently directed to hold our nose and simply drop down under the water in a first cleansing dip.  Then the collective hands returned to support our back while a much more vigorous bobbing began, faster and faster and faster, again chanting, “Live, Live, Live, Live, Live”… faster and faster until at the last, we would all yell “LIFT” and toss our loved one soaring into the air to then plunge under the water in an exhilarating moment of total trust.  Ask Penny Cheever about her mikvah experience.  Ask Michael Joblin.  Ask Trudi.  It was magical and fun and intimate and freeing. 

You would think these amazing exercises would be enough.  But oh no,

Our beloved Rabbi was not done with his students!  He had one sublimely sweet and intimate experience left for us.  We all took part in the renewing of the marriage vows of Bob (Bub) and Fleur Heaton and Meryl and Michael Joblin.  Each of us made an important contribution to the ceremony – Florence gave the brides away, Jean broke the ceremonial plate, Cecile wrote the wedding poem, Bob (Bub) wrote the ketuba, Patti wrote the blessings , I brought the food, Penny sang a song, Keith brought the napkins, Sandy King the glass to break, and more.  It is hard to recreate in words what took place in that holy space on that ship as it smoothly sliced through the waters of the Atlantic. 

There was sanctity and Love and Admiration and Trust.  We shared pure Intimacy as our friends spoke of their deep and abiding commitment to each other.  “Oz never gave nothing to the tin man that he didn’t, didn’t already have…” ~America 197?????

In the end, we learned

That loving, honest communication spiced with trust, fun and God is the path to Intimacy.  But didn’t we already know that?  On a very real level Rabbi Marc knew that while we all had this information, we simply did not know how to access it and bring it forth.  So he created the space for us to tap into our own knowing and come out feeling more deeply connected, more in love, more intimate, with ourselves, God, and those closest to us.  Thank you Rabbi.

From Meryl Joblin...

The cruise with Rabbi Marc and the fine group of fellow travelers was beyond expectation.  Mike and I went at Rabbi Marc's urging.  We had no idea what to expect, but we trusted Rabbi Marc when he said it would be transformative... and it was.  Rabbi Marc never disappoints us, and he always surprises us.  The process for growing intimacy with ourselves, others and the divine was well thought out and experiential.  You had to be there however to have shared in this intimate experience, which I believe is life changing and life sustaining.  It was a magical process.

We got to really know the other participants and to appreciate them for exactly who they are.  Special thanks to Fleur and Bob, who shared their anniversary celebration with us and invited us to renew our vows along with them at a special ceremony that was memorable to all.  We all received wonderful blessings that were given so freely and beautifully from our friends and "family of choice."  No words can express our appreciation for the changes that have occurred to us individually and as a couple.  It was amazing to experience the power of transformation that occurred.  Everyone came away happier, healthier and more committed to a life of intimacy and the spiritual journey.

If I weren't so tired, I could ramble on about how I believe that this experience profoundly affected us all and that we are all the better for it.

Thanks to everyone that had anything to do with this wonderful event.

All blessings
Meryl

Penny Cheever's Musings...

Words don't properly describe my experience on our intimacy cruise. It exceeded my expectations and transcended my heart and soul to another dimension. I have 18 new friends. And that there is no stranger amongst us.
 

The Heel Spur
Since late December, I suffered with a heel spur. I bought new shoes, got a special insert, performed daily stretches, and regularly took a calcium substitute. Everyone (including the physicians at work) encouraged me to get a cortisone shot or have surgery. I didn't believe either was a good alternative.

I was unable to walk barefoot... even a few steps. My walking routine had been seriously curtailed from 12 plus miles on Sunday mornings to 3 miles maximum. My foot even bothered me while swimming and driving.  Friday night during Services, I slipped off my shoe and massaged my sore heel. Saturday morning, during prayers, I stretched to relieve some of the discomfort. That afternoon, I slipped off my sandals to walk in the sand to the water, but after two steps, I retreated due to the pain.  I put my sandals back on.

My Spirit Soars

Later that afternoon, we entered the water as a group to perform our mikvah. I left my sandals at the waters edge, where there was almost no ebb and flow from the tide. Rabbi Marc recited the blessing for the mikvah, and we each participated in the mikvah ritual. As my body was lifted and then dunked, I felt my spirit soar. I felt my ethereal wings lift me towards the heavens and guide me back to the water. After the ritual was completed we all walked back to gather our belongings. My sandals were gone. There was a beautiful conch shell were my shoes had been. But no shoes anywhere. My wallet with my passport and money were steps away on the beach, but no shoes.

At first I panicked a little, and everyone offered me their shoes. But none were going to fit, and I refused them. So, I said, I must start walking back towards the boat, we were on the opposite side of the island. I thought it may take me a little longer with my heel spur, because I had not been able to walk two steps barefooted earlier in the afternoon.

The Heel Spur Is Gone

Well, I walked to the ferry, walked through the cruise boat and back to my cabin, pain free! My heel spur was healed! It is no longer with me! Had I not lost my sandals I may not have tried to walk barefoot again for a long time. I am sure my shoes were not lost or stolen.  There was no one around. Only HaShem could have taken them and left us the beautiful shell to behold.

Now, a few days later, I am wearing shoes I could not tolerate before the cruise. Today I walked three miles with no discomfort.

A miracle happened in the waters of Coco Cay, during our mikvah.
The entire cruise, was like this. I feel at peace and whole after all our teachings and experiences. Thank you TAO, Rabbi Marc and my 18 new friends for this blessing.

Love,
Penny

Photos by Patti Halprin